On November 8th, 2009, during our first day of prayer, God showed me that I don't have to have any fear. I have been living my life in fear in most areas of my life. Fear of not being able to provide for myself; fear of being alone; fear of the feeling when I am alone - healing from a past fear that I did not know I had. God showed me no matter what, He is there to look after me. I just have to do my part and stay close. He will supply every need.
As I have been working through the 100 days of prayer God is giving me more clarity regarding which direction to take. There hasn't been huge epiphanies but things are clearer in my prayer life. I have been doing a number of different fasts during these forty days as well. During a two day fast God spoke to me about praying to take over the leadership of the organization I work for. My wife and i have also seen my son respond more favorably when we are praying for him.
God has revealed to me to depend on Him. God reveled to me "Fear not for I am with you. No matter what my past was, He has met me. He is healing my mind, heart and spiritual life. I have found that Jesus has met me in love. I thought of the church as place of rules, regulations and judgment. That is from my past experience. I had gone to a cult that disguised itself as a chuch, went for a number of years, till I moved. It jaded me and I was angry and very mistrusting. I had given my life to God as a teen. Then walked away thinking I knew it all. I found my life was darker and without much meaning. Ever since I have come back to church. I have grown, learned to trust again, been open, laughed more and cried too. I have taken a few classes. Met some awesome God loving,people who are authentic. I have seen miracles in my life, healing. I have seen, In fact I love life more now. God has revealed to me my nature. I am being refined, I don't necessarily like it, cause the truth of who I was and have been was ugly. I have found courage to grow, faith to move forward, grace to forgive myself and others. God is in the drivers seat, I don't have to fret cause I am in Big hands. I focus on the positive and see the many blessings in my life. God is good. He has met my every need, blessed my family and I know His plans are way better then any I ever had. I am walking in faith not in fear. My marriage has improved, so has my outlook, my relationship with my daughter is healthier too. I still struggle but at least I know I'm not alone cause there is a Real Light in my life. I look forward to sharing with others what God has done for me. Cause the change in my life wouldn't have been possible without God.
On November 8th, 2009, during our first day of prayer, God showed me that I don't have to have any fear. I have been living my life in fear in most areas of my life. Fear of not being able to provide for myself; fear of being alone; fear of the feeling when I am alone - healing from a past fear that I did not know I had. God showed me no matter what, He is there to look after me. I just have to do my part and stay close. He will supply every need.
ReplyDeleteAs I have been working through the 100 days of prayer God is giving me more clarity regarding which direction to take. There hasn't been huge epiphanies but things are clearer in my prayer life. I have been doing a number of different fasts during these forty days as well. During a two day fast God spoke to me about praying to take over the leadership of the organization I work for. My wife and i have also seen my son respond more favorably when we are praying for him.
ReplyDeleteGod has revealed to me to depend on Him. God reveled to me "Fear not for I am with you. No matter what my past was, He has met me. He is healing my mind, heart and spiritual life. I have found that Jesus has met me in love. I thought of the church as place of rules, regulations and judgment. That is from my past experience. I had gone to a cult that disguised itself as a chuch, went for a number of years, till I moved. It jaded me and I was angry and very mistrusting. I had given my life to God as a teen. Then walked away thinking I knew it all. I found my life was darker and without much meaning.
ReplyDeleteEver since I have come back to church. I have grown, learned to trust again, been open, laughed more and cried too. I have taken a few classes. Met some awesome God loving,people who are authentic. I have seen miracles in my life, healing. I have seen, In fact I love life more now. God has revealed to me my nature. I am being refined, I don't necessarily like it, cause the truth of who I was and have been was ugly. I have found courage to grow, faith to move forward, grace to forgive myself and others. God is in the drivers seat, I don't have to fret cause I am in Big hands. I focus on the positive and see the many blessings in my life. God is good. He has met my every need, blessed my family and I know His plans are way better then any I ever had. I am walking in faith not in fear. My marriage has improved, so has my outlook, my relationship with my daughter is healthier too. I still struggle but at least I know I'm not alone cause there is a Real Light in my life. I look forward to sharing with others what God has done for me. Cause the change in my life wouldn't have been possible without God.